Thursday, December 22, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Something my sister Gail said to me last night has really been on my mind. She was telling me about one of her greatest desires. She said she wanted God to give her such a loving, caring heart. She wants to get to the point where she has such compassion for people and empathy for whatever they may be going through. She said more, but I couldn't remember it word for word. I guess what was puzzling to me was, in my eyes she is already blessed with these loving qualities. Not to say she doesn't get mad occasionally, or frustrated by others, she is only human (a fact that took me some time to realize).
I realize here at the holidays you have your twice-a-year do-gooders. Those are the people who like to be recognized for doing something "charitable" for families who are less fortunate. For some reason, they fail to realize that the other 363 days of the year, these same people or families would probably like to be thought about. It is not always about the money, food or clothing either, sometimes people just need company or a friend or family member to remember that they exist.
My admiration is for those who help others behind closed doors. I know of several people who have lovingly given to others in need that they didn't even know. They did it because they believe in "paying it forward." They didn't run to the nearest church to feed the hungry only during the holidays, they didn't show up to make food boxes for the needy so that everyone would notice what "charitable" people they were at Christmas. The people I am referring to are the quiet givers. The "I don't need any recognition" givers.
If we truly want to be blessed, I know I do, we will pray that God gives us that pure heart that Gail was talking about last night. We do things out of compassion or empathy to help those who may not have the things we do. We do it without strings attached, or without the fanfare. We remember those who may be falling on hard times, or those who have made some unwise decisions in their lives but are trying to make life better. We do these things without Judging. If you have the attitude that "people make their own beds" then you will always be just an artificial do-gooder and never a genuinely good-hearted giver.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
I chose to not speak about the results of the election on November 8, 2011 concerning the Mayor's race until now for several reasons. First of all, I wanted to reflect upon the several months preceeding the election without all the emotions I was feeling on election night. Second, I wanted to go back over the reports involving the allegations against Mike Moore and consider each statement specifically without bias, which was very hard for me considering my past, but I believe I was able to accomplish that.
As I stated before, my husband and I were frequent customers of Jerry's. We probably ate there at least once a week. I remember going in during my pregnancy with Jacob, and continued after his birth. As a matter of fact, there was this couple that ate in there several times a week and they would always chat with us whenever we came in. They were amazed at Jacob's growing progress and when they discovered he had diabetes they would always ask how he was doing with it.
We also remember asking Mike Moore for a sign to put in our yard when he was running for Commissioner. He sat at our table with us and assured us that although he was running as a Democrat (he was a true Republican at heart) but did not believe he would have a chance running as a Republican.
At that time, I didn't know anything else about Mike. I did not know about his past marriage, nor his present marriage. I never knew he had a daughter from the past, and I did not know he had kids with his second wife. I just thought he seemed like a nice guy, and felt he was sincere.
When Chris and I heard about the "mailer" that came out about Mike, we did not really know the details, but felt, like many others, that it must be a political ploy and nothing else. Not until I saw something posted on the CCC about the incident (which I believe was from Amy or her husband) did I realize that it involved allegations about Mike's first child.
Being a victim of child molestation and abuse, of course I was not willing to brush it off, I wanted to know more. It seems as though whenever it was brought up in any way, everyone was warned and we were all reminded that they were only allegations and no charges were filed.
Not until I started my forum did I know anything about Mike's first wife. I started to get bits and pieces from her statements about what Mike was accused of. I also realized that she was taking some vicious hits from Mike Moore supporters, and from my own father. Personally speaking, my father questioning the validity of Amy and her charges of Child Molestation did not sit well with me and on several occasions I pleaded with my father to stay out of it. (another story)
I needed to know more. I don't remember if I made that statement publically or if I asked someone who I thought may have more information. I was informed by an anonymous email that papers were being left in my mailbox. (I want to state that the deliverer of that information was NOT Amy or anyone in her family), the person that left them actually confessed to me later who they were.
The first page was definetely politcally motivated. The sender of the "mailer" said they were revealing this for concern of the citizens, but it was obvious it was for someone's own politcal agenda. That part did not impress me.
Upon looking through these papers I realize I was reading reports from a CPS worker as well as results from a polygraph examination that was conducted on Mr. Moore and also a Supplemental Case Report from the Indiana State Police.
I examined these reports very closely and what I read, as a mom and as a victim, concerned me. The facts were right before my eyes. The admission by Mike as to what he found "appropriate and normal" behavior with his daughter, were very disturbing to me. I could only remember when my daughter told me about the "games" her grandpa played with her and how devastated I was upon realizing what had been going on. I could only imagine that is how Amy felt when her little girl innocently told her mommy what "game" her and daddy were playing.
Trust me, I do realize that divorce can be ugly. But the thing that caught my eye was these allegations came to light before there was any talk of divorce. Amy and Mike were working together to try and prove he was not the molester. Mike believed his daughter had been molested but denied having any involvement according to the papers. Only when he knew there was no way out of what he had done, and admitted to, did divorce proceedings begin.
I would like nothing better than to believe Mike Moore was innocent. He is soon to be my Mayor! But I am a mom and a victim myself. I know how cruel people can be that don't want to believe that their friend, their relative, their husband or father could be guilty of such sick perversions, but the report is right here, right in front of me, and nice guys commit sexual abuse everyday, and everyday their are those who get away with it.
I would have had more respect for Mike Moore if he would have just said "it did not happen." Instead, he went public to demean his ex-wife. I remember him saying that these allegations came from a vindictive ex-wife and a messy divorce. That his ex made inappropriate charges. To pour more salt in the wounds, many of Mike's supporters went on the attack of me and Amy. Calling us every name in the book. Accusing us of using our troubled past to crucify Mike Moore. Even my own dad, in the end proved to be the same evil perpetrator that he was all my life. He has gone so far now as to deny he even did anything wrong to his daughters or his granddaughter.
So, for all of you who continue to support Mike Moore and believe he was the real victim, I hope you never have to find out otherwise. I don't want to think of another child being violated and no one knowing till years later, and worse, no one believing that child or that child's mother.
I pray that Mike Moore is a changed man. I pray that he realized what devastation he caused his little girl and vowed to never cross the line again. I pray that with all my heart.
I realize that I was the target of many people for what I posted about Mike. I also realize that although unintentional, his wife and children were hurt by what I was saying about their father. But I want everyone to know this, that was never my intention. I did what I truly believe was right. I promised myself to be an advocate for Mike's daughter and his ex-wife because I felt they were both being victimized all over again. I would do it again, in a heartbeat.